Essential U Blog

A Patch of Blue

Find Your Patch of Blue --- It's Out There

hen I graduated from high school, I literally walked out of the ceremony, posed for pictures and walked away from everything and everyone that was related to my two years of high school in San Antonio. I went to college at Lewis & Clark and never looked back. When I left for Oregon, I thought I would never step foot in San Antonio again. I had struggled through two very difficult years (but that’s a different story) there and was counting on my parents being transferred overseas before my winter break. That fall, when I got the news that the transfer wasn’t going to happen, in time I was devastated.

      

I didn’t want to go back to a place that was full of difficult memories. I had run away and mentally burned all bridges that led to San Antonio. I remember walking back to my dorm reading the letter from my parents totally crushed. I ran into my friend Van (who was by the way the happiest person on earth) along the way. I told him how desperately I never wanted to return to San Antonio even if it was only for a six week winter break.

A Tree Grows -- Wherever You Are!

hrive right where you are! There is nothing more important than to realize that it is your responsibility to thrive exactly where you are today. There are a thousand and one reasons for us all to worry, fret, give up, quit or be depressed. It only takes one reason to hold you back, which ever one it is that we chose to hang onto and use as an anchor. The economy, the bailout, the FDA Globalization Act, and a dozen other personal reasons anyone could add too the list.

But the reality is that many businesses will thrive during this economy. Those that get frightened and pull back will start go backwards. But those that move forward, push through the trials and tackle their fears will grow.  I keep hearing all the doom and gloom on the news, but it doesn’t translate to reality for my customers. I have more customers growing and thriving than ones going out of business. All I keep hearing on Twitter and from my customers is about new orders, more orders, big orders and promising growth. But with the FDA Globalization Act looming ahead of us, I know some people have chosen not to get into the beauty industry and others have given up on their dreams before the fight ever began.

Opportunity Disguised as Crisis

y friend Jamila White of j.blossom recently mentioned on Twitter that she was going through "an opportunity for business and personal growth disguised as a crisis." After I got myself off the ground from laughing, because I just love that kind of attitude, it really got me thinking about the importance of one’s outlook on life. So often we see our current situation as a hopeless predicament rather than the incredible growing and learning experience that it can be. The painful experience generally is going to happen no matter what you attitude is regarding the situation. And with the wrong mind-set it sometimes takes much longer to find the solution.

I found that sometimes in the midst of calamity the obvious answers and solutions could be sitting right in front of you and part of your own knowledge base but missed because of the distraction of the emergency at hand. The reality of this came crashing down on me some 14 years ago when Keegan was just a toddler. I was a single mother for many years and living in a constant state of crisis. Life simply isn’t easy for a single mother because you must to juggle all the responsibilities of a household, childrearing and bring in the sole income. Because I am a fanatical reader and believe in learning everything about any topic I am faced with I had read every book on childrearing. But nothing could have prepared me for the first years of Keegan’s life.

Don't Shut Out Your Customers

ecently, I encountered two businesses selling the same thing with completely different philosophies of business. My experience with one company caused them to lose me forever as a customer. I will be loyal to the other one forever. Why? Because one company made me a priority and the other doesn’t even know they lost me because they cared so little. There are important lessons in these experiences for every size of business, the first of which is that, if you don’t care for your customers, your competitors will.

       

I am a dark chocolate connoisseur (PDF) which leads me to a constant search for the best piece of chocolate in the world. This summer, I found an amazing little chocolate shop on a busy little street in
Portland. It had the most marvelous dark chocolates with unique flavor combinations like jalapeno, rosemary, sea salt and anise. I shopped there twice and each time found new combinations to delight my taste buds. However, 6 of 8 times I stopped by the store, I drove away disappointed and empty handed.

Making Friends Has Never Been So Easy

ife was easy in Kindergarten. Your mom packed you lunch, friends were easy to make, nap time was scheduled and crayons were always nearby. Well, I should say that most moms pack the lunches. In our house, my mom wanted to teach us independence so we packed our own lunch -- even in kindergarten. I showed up to school with a bag of jalapeños, a granny smith apple and a hunk of blue cheese. I had strange tastes even as a child (still sounds like a good lunch to me) and no one EVER stole my lunch.

     

Do you remember the days when making friends was simple? On the first day of Kindergarten I saw a little girl sitting alone on the steps. I walked over and sat down beside her and said, "Do you want to be my friend?" She said, "Yes," and so she became my best friend while I lived in Desoto, Texas. Her name was Jennifer and while we were total opposites we had a great friendship simply because I approached her and invited her in.

Always Travel With Friends

Even The Best Laid Plans ...

bstacles sometimes come from out of nowhere. One minute, you're headed in the right direction, with the right equipment. The next, you are suddenly thrown off the path. One time, while mountain biking I had everything right as a tore down a mountain path. I was riding with friends, wearing a helmet on a good mountain bike. In my opinion I was well equipped for the task at hand. We had driven a good hour and a half from home to ride on this path. There were four of us ready for a day of adventure. I was leading the group as we took off from the parking area.

      

The path started out with a steep decline for the first few miles. It was a typical mountain bike path that sent us bumping and jumping and required great control of the bike. I was totally in control and having a blast. The path became a bridge as we crossed a ravine. My front wheel got stuck in the slates of the bridge and my bike came to a complete and sudden stop. My body still carried the momentum and I flew instantly from my bike and out of sight. I took flight off the bike and over the railing of the bridge.

The Salve of Time

Time Is a Business's Best Friend

verything gets easier with time. The first time you do something, it can be very difficult, even terrifying, but the next time, it becomes considerably easier. I find this to be true in all aspects of life. This year during the Portland to Coast Relay Race, I saw clearly how time is a friend, both in my personal experience as a racer, and in the experiences of my teammates.

       

A few of the people on our team were really nervous. They were frightened of walking in the dark, nervous that I had over-estimated their paces, worried that they might not succeed at both legs and just over all jittery about the event. Some wondered what they had gotten themselves into as the date approached. I kept reassuring them that they would love it, they would walk faster than the paces we did when practicing and that they would succeed. I had done the race before and was completely confident in my team.

They Love Me, They Love Me Not

I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Than Loved For Who I'm Not

remember it so clearly. I must have been about 6 years old when my mother took me to the store to pick out any doll I wanted. We weren't big shoppers so it was a huge deal to go to the store to buy a doll. I stood in the aisles searching their faces looking for the most beautiful and lovely doll of them all. Finally, I saw her. I fell immediately in love and proudly left the store to take her home.

      

It was the early 1970’s and we were living in Texas at the time. Sometime after my delightful new purchase my mother and I headed downtown on a public bus toward the Dallas Neiman Marcus with my mom to get a haircut. I sat on the bus contently playing with my beloved doll. Soon I noticed my mother pulling me in close. I snuggled up enjoying the affection. Then later, I realized she wasn't really releasing her grip. What was wrong?

Stay Sharp by Taking On One Challenge After Another

ontana was ripe with opportunities for challenge-filled exploration. The day after conquering Steeple Rock, I decided to take on the Boulder River. In some ways, I was well equipped. In others, I was quite ill-prepared. I set out with a life vest, an inner tube and four other adventurous women who looked with me past the challenge of the super cold fast moving river, toward the feeling of accomplishment that would be our reward if we met the challenge head-on.

      

I knew that the water was moving seriously fast because during a river baptism a few hours earlier, the current wiped the pastor and one being dunked off their feet and into the arms of the back-up safety team. I was forewarned that the water was higher and faster than normal. But I still couldn’t resist. I have an insatiable longing for adventure.

Come Climb With Me

Ain't No Mountain High Enough!

hile we were in at Clydehurst Family Camp in Montana, I simply could not resist climbing up Steeple Rock. Everyday there was a different group hike and I was excited to take part in all of them. But I was personally compelled to conquer Steeple Rock, which was being billed as the hardest and most dangerous hike of them all.

      

This to me sounded like a great challenge and something I could not resist taking on. Keegan and Dennis said no way, have fun. Dennis had climbed Steeple Rock 18 years ago and declared that once in a lifetime was enough. Keegan had heard the tales of Steeple Rock and thought I was simply crazy.